FluffyDust
ID：26515586
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25获赞
动态
短视频
FluffyDust
12天前
FluffyDust
13天前
Heal
it will be okkk, everything will be ok
FluffyDust
20天前
this gonna be sad
sorry in advance, if anyone sees this post, so this one is definitely about sad emotions, about love, and grief, it's about missing the part of yourself that you've lost the moment she left your life. it's about the pain in your chest that is always lingering. I can't tell what it feels anymore honestly. My therapist told me that I need to love myself first in order to get love from others, CZ the amount of love I need is toooo much, and I just could not help longing for it. Everything I'm doing now, everything I'm working so hard at, everything that I'm struggling so much to deal with, everything that I'm doing, it's for the ultimate goal: love. I want love, that's the ultimate goal. no amount of material stuff can compare with the love I want. so as my therapist said, maybe the people I long for is just a tool to get love, and when I lose it, since love means so much to me, my brain couldn't handle it, that's why it's saying that my life is in danger without love. my brain is also trying to protect me, and tis so painful. and I think about her every minute, I fantasize that she someday will see this and text me, and this will never happen, isn't it. Human can be very simple, but also very complicated, and I just could not handle it. I can't.
I'm so depressed right now, and I'm listening to sad music, and I'm staying indoors, and I'm planning to do so for the whole week, except weekends CZ I've got some volunteering training to do. and I know I'm going to be very quiet and depressed, but I think I like that, it has been soooooooo long since I spent some time with myself. and I know I need this!!!! I need some time with myself. I need it. I need quietness. this is the quietness I've been longing for.
I'm going post it in wechat too, probably need to modify it a bit, I don't know, I don't think I have the strength to go through all these heavy words again. and I know I'm going to go through these feelings this entire week. and I'm not regretting. the depressed version of myself is also part of me. that's what you have to accept if you have bipolar and depression, and the latter has been my old old friend, it comes back to visit me from time to time, and I know, it's also trying to protect me or taking care of me in some situations. I love you, my old friend!
and again, I'm going to do some work now, maybe I'm feeling a bit lighter, I don't know, but it's so quiet here, I like that, I like the quietness, let's use some brain cells 😊
FluffyDust
25天前
Baby steps😌
Dear myself,
you are doing great, I know it's hard already, don't be too harsh on yourself, one page is fine, I know you have a lot things in your mind, you have too much emotion going on, and I'm talking about sadness and grief, so its okkkkk, it's really okkkkkkk, it's not your fault, I love you, I always love you, I'll always be with you, and you are not a bad one, you are not a failure, I know you can do it, I know you find a way to pursue your dreams in academy, I just know. don't even ask the reason, CZ there's no specific to reason to love a human, in this case, self love.
Dorry(me), it's going to be fine. now finish your work, or at least try to, and maybe scroll some social media, it's really fine, I know in this phase you need them. but don't be afraid. I'll always be here.
deep breath.
I love you
and you are great
and in the end, I know you will get through today 😌🤗HUG 🫂
FluffyDust： done 👍
FluffyDust
1月前
day 2 /21
I know it's very little progress, but I'm trying already. so yeah, it's going to be fine 😄
FluffyDust
1月前
day 1 / 21
small progress still counts
really hard to start doing sth that you've been procrastinating for so long because you are afraid that you could not do it as good as before anymore. it takes a lot courage to start again really. like, really a lot.
FluffyDust
1月前
really need to start my thesis now 🤦♀️ I hate procrastinating
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E： Good luck!
FluffyDust
1月前
trying to take care of myself
